Thursday, September 19, 2013

Breaking News

Bozeman Comical-

Yesterday, a woman reported being attacked while looking at an open house.  According to Detective Javert, Bozeman police responded to the scene at 3 o'clock p.m.  Molly Brown was house shopping for her grandmother and was following the Parade of Homes.
Driving her yellow Volkswagen Bug, she decided to go off the map and check out some cottages up Hylite.  She noticed a black Mercedes with a bumper sticker "Where's John Galt" following her and thought it was just another prospective home-buyer.
At a house on Sth CottonWood, the woman approached Miss Molly Brown, 24, and asked several seemingly harmless questions.  She allegedly parted and said, "See you around dear."  The woman has now been identified as Sarah Johnsrud.
Molly Brown entered a house on Stucky Ave and noticed the next door neighbor picking apples.  She waved to the small man.  While she was in the house, she heard footsteps and then Mrs. Johnsrud took Mrs. Brown to the ground and kept trying to bite her mouth.
Mr. Valjean, a retired French teacher heard screaming and ran over to the house.  He pulled Mrs. Johnsrud off of Mrs. Brown and sat on her until police arrived.  When police arrived, they could not subdue Mrs. Johnsrud and subsequently tasered  her.
Mrs. Brown told Detective Javert that she was eternally grateful to Mr. Valjean and that she would stay to the map next time while house hunting.
Mrs. Johnsrud was taking to Bozeman Deaconess and was treated from being tasered.  She will be arraigned on Friday and is currently being held on $50,000 bail for Felony Assault.

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